New Year ruminations

There is a woman I know who is working on herself very intensely. She's raising young children and comes from a childhood marked by prominent abuse. It impresses me how much effort she puts in to her life, her self growth, her relationships.

I read her blog postings and often think I have something I'd like to add, but she eschews 'advice' from others, which is impressive, really. Most of us hear advice or insights from our friends. But how much of that is (inevitably) filtered through their personal view?

As to my own life, I feel somewhat stuck in patterns which I want to break through. I spend too much time on this damned computer. It's a compulsion, really. I want to have the discipline to limit my time spent doing this.

I want to be more fit, I want to exercise more because I prefer the way I feel about myself when I am thinner and more fit. I want to eat better, giving up carbs. Andrew seems to do that effortlessly and he loses weight easily when he does.

But there's a war going on in here. I am really having trouble giving up carbs. I know they are the root of why I feel like crap.

We are going to host a Saudi student for a month. He arrives tomorrow. Dan leaves today and I will spend the day getting the guest room ready for the student. When we have students, we feed them dinner. It's pretty unthinkable to serve dinner to guests and not offer them some sort of starch along with the protein and veggies. And we offer them breakfast foods which is generally starch based, too.

And reading my friend's blog serves to stir me to be more mindful about what I am actually doing in my life.

It's all good

Felt much better last night, spent with a few friends, and got more exercise today.